I don't even know how to begin this...but I know that no one but God knows how this will end...

Many of you have been asking about our baby and we so appreciate your prayers and concerns. For the sake of having to update everyone one by one on what's happening I'm writing down what we know:

Last Friday we had the priviledge of having our first ultrasound and found out much to our surprise, and joy, that we are having a baby BOY! We left feeling that this news would be the biggest surprise we would have about this new life growing inside of me. Soon after, we got a call from my midwife saying that there were some "abnormalities" in our son's heart and that they wanted us to go to a heart specialist as soon as possible and get a Fetal Echo cardiagram done. They said nothing else. Over the weekend I browsed through the internet (not always a good idea) and looked up heart conditions in baby's and found that most baby's with "abnormalities" in the heart are at risk of having Down's syndrome or worse. It was a long weekend of waiting, praying and crying out to God.

Fortunately, we were able to get in Tuesday morning with the pediatric doctors for another indepth sonogram. After a couple of hours of a team of doctors meticulously looking at our baby they told us that there was indeed abnormalities in our baby's heart and that they looked severe. At this point from what they can make out (at 17 weeks) he seems to have a hole in his heart and his AV (atrium ventricle) missing. His condition does not really fall into any heart defect "category" as of yet. He's high risk for Down's Syndrome but even more serious than that they think he will need heart surgery after birth and from what they can see may not be able to live a "normal" life. They give us this news with the invitation of an Amnio (to see if he's Down's), this procedure has a 1 in 200 risk of miscarriage (we decline much to their dissaproval), and they mention the option of abortion.
It all came like a flood. Everything stopped. We were devastated. I felt this overwhelming weight on me like I couldn't breathe, trying to process what seemed like a nightmare that I should be waking up from. It's amazing how in one moment to the next everything can change, your plans, your future, your family...nothing is really ever guarenteed.

So, here we are. I feel utterly ill-equipped to handle this situation. But here IS where we are. And although we have no idea where we are going and what will happen next, there is this deep abiding knowledge at the core of my very being that God knows exactly where we are, that He has a plan and that He is 100,000% able to get us through this. No matter what the outcome is.

Would you please pray for our son, Judah Aslan that's due on Valentine's Day?
We are believing that God will do a miracle in His life, or ours, because either way we need Him to bring His kingdom into this situation. We know that God has purposed his life. A month before I got pregnant God gave me the name, Judah Aslan, which means Lion of Judah. Judah means "praised" and Aslan is the turkish name for Lion, it also means, "Praise" the "King". Our prayer is that God would glorify Himself through Judah's life and that He will heal his heart and make him whole continuing the work of Master Creator forming His insides and all it's intricacies bit by bit. We are holding on for dear life to the promises of God...we know that He gives GOOD gifts, that He promises hope for our future, He promises to never leave us nor forsake us, to be gracious and compassionate, to be ever-present in times of trouble, to comfort those who weep, to heal the lame, and broken-hearted and to make all the detours of adversity in life into highways of destiny. We will praise Him no matter what.
For now we will wait, not just on the dozens of doctors appts, but on God who answers and rescues us in times of trouble.

Already we feel the prayers of so many contending for Judah! Your prayers for our son and our family are more precious to us than anything else we could ask. Our times with Jesus have been sweet, He is comforting us, building our faith and hope is rising within us.

We'll keep this updated.

Psalm 139: 13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.

Psalm 116
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Becuse he turned his ear to me, i will call on him as long as i live.
The cords of death entangled me , the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: "O Lord, Save me!"
The Lord is gracious and righteous, our God is full of compssion. The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.
For you, O Lord, have delieverd my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living. I believed; therefore I said, ...How can I repay the Lord for all His goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord...2And I will praise you all the days of my life.







These pictures were taken right before my ultrasound on Friday. The girls are kissing and hugging "their baby". They love to take turns kissing my belly and talking to their baby brother.