Decision. Blessed be this road...

The past 7 weeks can only be described as an emotional roller coaster filled with ups and downs, turning our world inside out and spinning us in directions we could never have imagined.

Yesterday was another one of those days. It seems that we have been faced with some difficult decisions...

But there is still hope.

Our cardiologist after looking at the progress of Judah's heart (after only 4 days from our last echocardiogram) concluded that he is not getting better and in fact the fluid build up is starting to spread into his abdomen and he is in critical danger of hydrops and heart failure. At just over 23 weeks gestation our baby is continuing to fight for his life, even against all odds and it seems that on his own he may not have enough strength to fight for the remaining 13 weeks.

So, here we are again.
God, "you lead the blind by a way they do not know, in paths they do not know you guide them. You will make darkness into light before them and rugged places into plains. These are the things You will do and You will not leave them undone." ~Isaiah 42:16

It seems like Judah's best option is to undergo an in utero intervention. The Boston Children's heart specialist who performs these experimental procedures called us yesterday when we got home and interviewed Obe and I to make sure that we could be candidates for this extraordinary surgery. It seems with Judah's unique condition (the enlarged left-ventricle instead of a hypoplastic ventricle) that he is a perfect candidate.

Even though this procedure is still relatively ground-breaking and new (they've performed less than 10 similar surgeries to Judah's condition) they think his odds are favorable. Right now they are mobilizing their team of ten world-class surgeons and nurses and preparing for us to come Oct. 31st. This is the soonest they can get the entire team together and right now time is not on our side as I am also developing a serious condition related to Judah's heart called, Polyhydramnios, in which my 23 week belly is filling up with too much amniotic fluid making me look more like 35 weeks pregnant. My tummy is very tight and swollen and if it goes untreated without being drained it could result in preterm labor/ and or growth restriction for my baby. I feel as though I'm getting bigger by the hour!! And my back and lungs are starting to feel the pressure too.

The surgery will basically take place in two parts:
The first procedure will be to balloon open up the aortic valve. In this procedure they will put a large needle through my belly through the womb and straight into Judah's heart in which they will attempt to balloon open the valve and release the blood and fluid build up hoping to get his valve working again. The second procedure will be like the first but this time they will insert the needle into the upper chamber of his heart to make a hole to allow passage between the valves. After that or maybe before they will place a plastic straw-like tube into my stomach to drain some of the amniotic fluid from my uterus.

We are so grateful to the Lord for His guiding hand every step of the way.

Already we feel like He has provided and gone to extraordinary lengths to confirm this next step.

~ We received a large, very unexpected check from a group of dear friends of ours just last week that will cover air-fare and this months bills since Obe has had to take off so much work and will have to take off at least another week for our surgery in Boston.

~About a month ago a good friend of mine had a picture during prayer of God cracking open Judah's (enlarged) womb and handing him a string and then closing the womb back up and placing it back (smaller than before) in my belly. I remember when she relayed this picture to me it seemed very abstract and unrelated to anything. Now I'm just amazed at its profound meaning to what will be happening.

~Also, totally unexpected a friend from the past that I have not seen or talked to in the past 11 years happened to stumble on my blog the other night just after coming home from the Boston's children's heart hospital where she was visiting her niece who also has a congenital heart defect. This friend was able to tell us all about the hospital and has even invited Obe and I and our girls to stay at her home, watch our kids and be a resource to us during out time. Oh and did I mention that her niece's doctor is the same one performing the surgery?!

~And of course putting us in the hands of one of the best fetal cardiac heart specialists in the world. This opportunity alone speaks of God's sovereignty.

Although there are many obstacles on our path right now and the road seems to become increasingly more narrow and difficult we feel that God is continuing to lead the way and has remained 5 steps ahead of us providing our every need before we even realize it.
We continue to remind ourselves that this is Judah's story that He is writing and even though we would not choose this for him, God knows what's best, and knows what we can handle and that's good enough. We know that there is no other place we can fall but into the faithful, loving arms of Jesus.

I continue to be touched by the many kindnesses being shown to our family right now. Your prayers, emails, phone calls, reaching out and acts of generosity are a testimony to us of God's love and tender mercies. You have been an example to us. Thank you!